When I started blogging I was 14 years old. I wrote about boys, boys and boys. Oh and my family and friends. And boys.
I have one of my old blogs bookmarked from 9 years ago. I was reading some of it yesterday. I was so depressing! I had been cheated on by my boyfriend, then I dated another guy and broke up with him. And then there was another guy who wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had a lot of that going on. I’m so glad I don’t have to go through any of that anymore!
I can’t access my first blog, unfortunately. The one after that I’m trying to get access to. I can’t remember the password and I don’t have the email address anymore. So we’ll see how that goes.
Shortly after I started this blog I met my husband. I wrote about him VERY OFTEN! After we were married I started writing about being an Army Wife and going through deployment. I also write about myself.
Now that my husband is retired from the Army, I’m not an active duty Army Wife. I’m not planning my wedding, obviously. I’m not a Mommy. I just don’t really know where I fit in, what my niche is. In part, this goes along with my search of myself. Maybe I’m having an identity crisis. I honestly struggle with this fairly regularly.
Am I alone in this? How do I get out of my funk? I used to be so positive and happy. Now I just go through life day by day. Bored. Working my direct sales businesses. Hardly seeing my husband at all because he works so much. My friends are either in other states or too busy to come see me.
I have trouble sleeping. I lay in bed for hours, wide awake. It is so frustrating. Then when I am awake sometimes I find myself just sitting, staring. For long periods of time. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Through all of this, I can’t come up with anything good to write about. My life is so boring. Why would anyone want to read about it? I used to think I was, at least, a tiny bit interesting. I used to tell stories to my friends about my life. They loved it and always asked to hear my stories. I suppose that’s why I started blogging. (That and I just love the attention)
I feel like I should blog more honestly. Not that I blog dishonestly. I just mean that I should put myself out there more. My problems, my insecurities, my failings. Maybe I can help someone who is going through the same thing. I know I always feel better if I know that I’m not the only one who hasn’t done laundry or dishes in days and they can’t fix their hair worth anything. To know that someone else understands my grief. Actually understands it, not just says the customary “I understand sweetie.”
Of course, I haven’t been so brutally honest in my blogging since I have it connected to my social media. I’ve always been afraid to let the people in my life know what’s REALLY going on with me. Very few people really know what I go through. (They know who they are.) Maybe, just maybe, it’s time for me to open up more. After all, life is short. I know that all too well.
I feel like I’ve never had a niche like I never stick to one subject other than myself haha I am not DIY crafty or a mom or a foodie or blogger mogul lol I am just me and I am pretty much censored because my blog is very public! I think that is a big reason I don’t say as much as I want to or blog often. Lately it has been about traveling but nothing else I feel “worthy” of putting up..I am 29 married and work full time craaazy times are not happening lol & that’s fine but just not ideal for being a blogger….This summer I did go to a bloggers workshop that had me motivated for all of 2 weeks maybe you can try one too =)
Yay! We’re non-niche buddies! Lol. Let’s just keep writing about ourselves then.
I can relate, in a way…. I worked in the finance industry for 30 plus years. I was never without a job. If I left a job, it was always to go to another one already lined up. I did expect to get laid off of work in my 40’s at a company I had been employed with for 20 years. I lost my identity. Then I found out I was pregnant, talk about a strange reversal… never thought I’d be able to have a kid… and now, I’m a mommy. But I’m only a temporary SAHM… because come August, I return back to the workforce, something that my husband made clear he wants me to help with the finances. So, I feel as though I’m in limbo.
Wow. Those are huge changes. I’m glad you were able to have a baby! I’m still trying to get pregnant.
I lost my identity in the birthing room. Without fail the moment I cross the threshold, everyone looks at the kids and forgets who drove them there. As they are getting older, I am fighting back against standing in the door way waiting to be recognized. Now I just say hello to the room in general. If you say hello back, great. If not, nothing lost. At some point my parents/family will see I am here. It is so easy to be Amy’s mommy and not a real person. Before kids, I had an amazing career and life. Now, it is enhanced with kids I just need to remember my voice, beyond screaming like a lunatic in the toy aisle. Good luck getting pregnant. Sending baby dust your way.
Thanks for the baby dust! Hope you can find your voice too.
I can relate with a lot of things. I sometimes feel like, “what am I doing?”. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing everything that I can for my family. Sometimes I just feel like lying in bed ALL day. Of course I have my good days. And don’t get me started about my house! Gosh. I’m so disorganized. I feel good when my house is organized, but sometimes I do go days without cleaning (drives my hubby crazy). Sometimes I just don’t do anything. I deal with depression a lot. I try to keep positive but sometimes I give in to the negative thoughts in my head….and I get a little paranoid! It’s crazy! Hang in there friend! Things will definitely get better!
It can be extremely hard to get things done when you just want to stay in bed. I have been there!
I feel kinda niche-less too. At a conference this past weekend I had no clue how to tell someone about my blog in 30 seconds. What is my blog about? A lot of stuff – it’s hard to package that in a 30 second ad. I don’t have any answers for you, but I will say that I’ve only seen positive things happen when bloggers open up honestly. You have to do what is right for you, though.
I have the same problem! I usually just say that my blog is about my life. (Even on my about page.) I wish I had something more savvy to say!