How To Walk In A Manner Worthy of the Lord

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Today was the 2nd week of my mom’s discipleship class. The class is called “How to Walk in a Manner Worthy of the Lord. She has come up with all of the curriculum. She is one of the Godliest women I know and I am thrilled she is doing this class! Last week was like an introduction to her and to the class. Today we got right to work! We were talking about Daily Devotion. Not “devotions” like a book with a daily thing that you just read, but actually being devoted to spending daily time with God. This is something that I have always struggled with.

She asked us about our quiet time with God. How we do it, when we do it, where we do it. We talked about different ways to have time with God. For example, you don’t just have to read straight thru the Bible or read a specific devotional book. You can sing or journal. It’s interesting how different people spend time with God in different ways.

One thing she did was talk about how daily devotion can effect our life. She listed these things on the board.

Inner Life:
-Communion
-Purification
-Restoration
-Instruction

Outer Walk:
-Submission
-Direction
-Intercession
-Transformation

She has verses for all of them. I wrote most of them down! I loved when she talked about intercession. Praying for others, whether they know it or not. Whether you know their needs or not. She said sometimes she will have someone pop into her mind and will stop and pray for them right there. I do the same thing. Even if I don’t know what is going on in that person’s life, I just get a feeling I need to pray for them.

She also talked about how Jesus would have quiet time with God. In Mark 1:35 it says “In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there.” She mentioned that spending time with God helped restore Jesus. He performed miracles, talked to thousands of people, and so much more that it was draining. Even when people touched Him, power drained out of Him. So He had to spend that precious time with His Father to be restored.

Another thing we talked about was waiting. My mom talked about how she has had to do a lot of waiting since my daddy died. Waiting for the grief to pass, waiting for answers from the Lord, etc. She has chosen to wait actively instead of just sitting around. She has been so busy! She spends lots of time with the Lord, prays for people, ministers to people. She isn’t just sitting, waiting for things to happen. This kind of hit home for me. I have been waiting to get pregnant for 4 years now. But until recently I wasn’t really doing anything about it. Now I am starting the 21 Day Fix to help me get healthier. I am actively researching adoption and fundraising. I know I have to wait on God’s timing, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help things happen! It’s not magic. I felt like God was telling me I’m on the right path because I have heard/read things about actively waiting twice in the past week.

So that’s just what I learned in class today! If you would like more of the verses, PLEASE ask me! I’ll be more than happy to share!

21 Day Fix Challenge!

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My sweet friend Amber messaged me the other day and told me that she is getting ready to start a challenge group for the 21 Day Fix. I had heard of it before but I didn’t know much about it. She told me some about it and had me watch a couple of YouTube videos. I was very interested. I have been needing to do something to get healthy and this program seems easy enough for me to stick to it.

I ordered the challenged pack and it should be here on Tuesday! I’m excited. I even got my mom to join! I also ordered some dumb bells to use during the workouts and some containers so I can prep my meals in advance. That way I can just grab it from the fridge when I need to eat. Much easier for me to cook a bunch of food at one time and portion it out for the week.

Pinterest has piqued my interest as well. I have created a new board just for the 21 Day Fix and have pinned lots of recipe ideas. Some of them look really good too!

For those of you that don’t know what the 21 Day Fix is, it is a meal portion plan with 2 dvds with 7 workouts. You get the color coded containers to portion your food based on your weight/goal. You can also get the challenge pack that comes with a 30 day supply of Shakeology shakes. I’ve heard they taste really good. Here is what this containers look like.

 

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I’m going to be doing the 2100-2300 calories per day plan. That means I get 6 containers of veggies, 4 containers of fruits, 6 containers of proteins, 4 containers of carbs, 1 container of healthy fats and cheese, 1 container of seeds/dressings and 6 teaspoons of oils/nut butters. PER DAY! That’s a lot of food! It will definitely take some time to get used to it. But I am bound and determined to stick to this program. I need to get healthy so I can either get pregnant or be ready for and adopted baby!

The Loss of a Baby I’ve Never Had

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For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom. It is my biggest desire, my dream job. When I was a teenager I always had a fear that I wouldn’t be able to have a baby. I knew I would be willing to adopt but I also wanted to go through a pregnancy. Feel a baby moving around in my belly, wearing maternity clothes, doing maternity photos, even going through morning sickness. And then to finally give birth to my bundle of joy and hold my precious baby in my arms for the first time.

Now, after 5 years of trying and having no success, I don’t know if it will happen. I have PCOS which makes it more difficult to get pregnant, however I know friends who have it and have had children. However, I just don’t see it happening for me. Which is utterly heartbreaking.

My husbands knows how much I want a baby. He wants to have children with me too. It just isn’t as hard for him because he already has children from his first marriage. Sometimes I feel like he just doesn’t understand the loss that I feel. I feel like I am missing a part of me.

We have talked about adoption. Basically just “I am interested in adoption. Would you be ok with it?” He never really thinks about it or gives me an honest answer. He’s very vague saying “I’m not sure”. I don’t know how to get him to open up. He says that we can’t afford adoption but I have been researching ideas for grants and fundraisers. I know that we could raise the money we would need.

Sometimes I feel like I have no support on this. My mom and sister want me to have a baby but they don’t really want to listen to me when I talk about adoption, although I know they will be ok if it happens. It’s so hard on me. Every time I see a baby or hear someone say they are pregnant. It’s the one thing I can’t have! My mom tells me about every single person she knows who is having a baby. And every time it’s like I get stabbed in the heart. I’m crying just writing this.

How is it possible to miss something you’ve never had? To grieve the loss of a child never conceived in your womb? For your heart to break because the possibility of being pregnant feels impossible?

Perfectly Posh Day Away

I had such a blast at the Perfectly Posh Day Away event on Thursday in Nashville. Despite the freak snow storm the night before, I made it! I’m so glad I did. I met some amazing people and had awesome training from the leaders of our company. Not to mention all the incredible products we got!

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We had fun taking selfies too!

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Oh and I even had fun on my way there doing the Road Rally!

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Me with “Flat Andrew”

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I Poshed the baristas at Starbucks!

It was so much fun! I can’t wait for the next Day Away!

Check out the new Spring Catalog:
www.perfectlyposh.com/sarahgravely

Losing My Way

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When I was younger, I did many things to let my creative side out. I read books constantly. I played guitar and sang daily. I made many scrapbooks. Cross stitching, crocheting, writing, etc. So many hobbies!

Over the last few years, I have stopped doing those things. Not really on purpose. It just kind of happened. Going through deployment, losing my grandparents and my daddy, and dealing with my husband’s PTSD have all lead to me forgetting about me. I’ve lost my way. I need to find myself again.

That is one of my goals for this year. I have several, but a big one is to be more creative. Writing, doing my crafts, playing my guitar. Ya know, not watching tv all the live long day! HA! We’ll see if that actually happens.

With my health getting so bad it’s been hard to do things that I want and need to do. Household chores are almost impossible for me to accomplish. Just getting a shower takes all my energy. It is so frustrating. Especially because most of the people close to me don’t understand how much pain I have.

I am working on my health, both physical and emotional. It is hard. But I am determined!